Crack Addicts
by 07-Ghost-Kuroyuri
Summary: What do you get when you combine Vocaloids and Crack? Well...
1. I want your banana

Kaito's Banana.

"Kaito...I want your banana."A certain blonde Vocaloid whispered into Kaito's ear. The blue haired man yelped and sprang upwards off the couch, whirling to face Len, a look of sheer terror on his face, "I'm sorry...WHAT?"he wailed, his face red. Len stared at the older Vocaloid, pointing at the couch from which Kaito had just fled. Sure enough, there was a banana beside where he'd been. "That banana, I wanted it. Is it yours?" he questioned tilting his head, causing Kaito to sigh with relief. "Thank Yamaha, I thought you meant...Something else."he breathed, picking up the banana and handing it to Len, causing the blonde to squeal with delight, crouching on the couch like Smeagle from L.O.T.R on the cushions and stroke it, repeatedly hissing at Kaito and mumbling, "My precious...~" Facepalming, Kaito exited the room, he couldn't take Len's stupidity, it was like he was on crack or something weird like that...Or maybe a disease to the brain. 'Well, whatever it is, I don't want to catch it!'he cooed, thinking about how cool he was before he walked right into the wall.

~Author's note~

If you were wondering no, this was not supposed to make sense whatsoever. It's a crack fanfic, and I might write more about each vocaloid. Some more mature than the others, and some more cute and humorous. But anyways, thanks a bunch for reading, and feel free to review or inbox me!~ :D Have a sweel day/night. c: Oh p.s, it's supposed to be that short. ;D


	2. No Interruption

It was strangely quiet around the Vocaloid manner as Rin Kagamine, or as she liked to call herself, _Orange Girl_, paced around, anticipating what might happen on such a fine day. "Hmm, what to do, what to do."she mumbled to herself, as she continuously wandered about. She'd already had enough of her crack baby twin, who was now in his room listening to the "Banana Song", whilst screeching at the top of his lungs, that he is, in fact, a fucking banana. Shaking her head in dismay, "Orange Girl" flung herself out onto the balcony, only to find of course, Kaito making out with an ice cream cone, "Uhh...Kaito-senpai?"the blonde questioned, looking extremely horrified, yet quite amused. Kaito's eye twitched as he tore the creamy delight away,"IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE...I SWEAR!" he shrieked, jumping over the balcony, attempting to commit suicide. Good thing Vocaloids were only computer programs, right? Facepalming, she could tell that it wasn't only Len who had a nice serving of crack, but apparently Kaito as well.

Author's Note~

Well, it's not GREAT or anything, cause I couldn't quite come up with anything, BUT HERE IT IS. Chapter two of this crack fanfic. If you have any crackish ideas, feel free to either Review, or PM me~ HAVE A GREAT NIGHT!~

I AM A BANANA.


	3. Meat and Carrots

Chapter 3. Carrots and Sharks.

Gumi idly glanced around the kitchen, making sure the coast was clear. Smiling with pleasure, the green haired Vocaloid opened the refrigerator, inspecting the elements within carefully. An orange carrot almost immediately caught her gaze. Without a second thought, Gumi mindlessly grasped the vegetable, heading up the stairs to her bedroom. As she shut the door silently behind herself, the carrot seemed to glow in her dainty hands, "Eat me, and lick me." it called out to her, or so she fantasized. Obeying what the carrot demanded, Gumi began to hastily lick the carrot, not quite sure how one would usually eat such a mystical carrot.

Some time passed before the synthesizer grew bored of just simply licking it. Hell no; she wanted it's flavourful juices. With that in mind, she shoved the entire vegetable into her mouth. Before she could enjoy the wonderful flavours presented to her tongue by the divine carrot gods, her bedroom door swung open, revealing to her horror…Gakupo…Standing in the doorway, wearing nothing but Lady GaGa's meat dress. Gumi spat the carrot out immediately and pointed to the male, "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" she demanded, eye twitching.

Gakupo crossed his arms defiantly, "Oh, but I should be asking you the same. Giving a blow job to a carrot? And we all thought tree huggers were an issue." he retorted, causing Gumi to flip a table in her rage.

"I was _not_ giving a carrot a blow job! I was enjoying it's flavour, thank you very much!" she argued, before adding, "and you're the male, wearing a dress, but that's not all. The dress is made out of _meat, meat _for Christ's sakes!" Gakupo narrowed his eyes, "Carrot blower." he mumbled, walking down the hallway. Gumi rolled her eyes, "Someone's had a bit too much meth." she grumbled, jumping out the window, somehow surviving as she hit a random road, and got run over by Len and Rin's road roller. But yeah. She somehow survived, without getting hurt at all.

Author's Note

Hey guys! Sorry for the crappy chapter! Honestly, it's one in the morning, and this is all I came up with! Ughhhh death to me! XD Just kidding, but really, sorry of this one seems a little choppy and perverted. The BJ idea was a request xD It got me writing though so whatever, I don't care if some people don't like it, cause I only care if the person who requested it likes it. That's that!~~~ Welp! Please review and favorite it 3 Have a splendid night my pretties! :D


	4. Heart Attack

Crack Addicts Chapter 4.

Rain was dripping off of Luka's umbrella as she stepped inside of the manor. It was surprisingly quiet inside for once, and she had to admit that she enjoyed it. Yet, she wondered why it was so quiet at that point in time, and was in the "finding shit out" mood. The vocalic glanced around suspiciously as she wandered about the main floor, suspecting a huge prank was about to be put into play. "Miku-chan? Rin-chan? Kaito-kun..?"she called, raising a brow, "I swear to Jesus Christ, if one of you pop out at me, I'm going to stab you in the chest with either my heroine, or my mother fucking epipen. So I don't suggest it." the adult warned, glaring around.

Mikuo looked up at Akaito, "Bro, you think she's being serious?!"he squeaked, eyes huge. Akaito scoffed, raising a hand, "Dude. She's _female_. They say those things, but they don't mean it..I mean damn. Are you stupid?" Mikuo shrugged, "At least I know what one plus one is."he muttered, earning a death glare from Akaito. "THAT'S A SECRET MAN!" he exclaimed, flailing his arms, "Shut up Mikuo! I think she's near!"

Luka stopped walking momentarily, reaching inside her bag and pulling out a rusty needle, and her epipen, "I swear to God…"she muttered, rounding the corner.

Akaito burst out from behind the couch, his arms in the air whilst screaming like a girl being exorcised. Screaming in shock, Luka thrust the rusty heroine needle into the redheads shoulder, and the epipen into his heart. After calming down, she realized it was just Akaito, now twitching on the ground. White foam was coming from his mouth, and his eyes were a little dull. He kind of looked like a whore sweating in church… Luka narrowed her eyes at him and kicked him where it hurts. "Bitch, I told you I'd do it. Now I'm not even going to call 911."she stated, walking away.

Mikuo sighed deeply, "Oh thank the holy heaven of almonds."he gasped, a little too early. He too, was now on the ground, twitching. "I-I can't…Make babies!"he whined, sobbing. Luka laughed, "Vocaloid's can't even make babies in the first place, idiot."

Author's Note

Once again, sorry for the shitty chapter. I'll admit, I half assed it real bad, but at least it's here, right? The next chapter (if there is one) should be better. Also, the reason I didn't post for a while is because my internet wasn't hooked up for a month due to a massive flood in High River. (I just moved over there .' Ugh, well, I'll try to post more often now. I can make a promise though, I can promise that if it's not uploaded within a week, it will be uploaded in like, a month or so. Please review, and maybe favourite it if you like it? ALSO!~ If you have any ideas, feel free to review or PM me, I'm always quite happy when I get a request!~ Have a great day/night my pretties!~


	5. One Click Headshot

Crack addicts chapter 5

A week following the heroine and epipen incident, Meiko got home from rehab, which all the other vocaloids had forced her into. The brunette sighed happily, she was a changed women now. Hell, for all she knew, she could probably look like Nanny Mcphee compared to everyone else now, that's how good she was. "There's no place like home!~" she chirped, swinging the front door open, only to find Miku, sitting at the counter, with her face down. "Um…?"she pondered out loud, stepping into the kitchen. "Miku..?" she asked, raising a brow as she heard sniffling sounds. The vocaloid grabbed the pigtailed girl by the hair and gently picked up her face from the counter, "What the…?" Meiko gaped, there was an enormous pile of…Opened pixie sticks beside the younger vocaloid. The sugar was all around Miku's nose. "OH HELL NAWE MIKU, YOU BE GOING PIXIE ON MY DONKEY ASS!?" she bellowed, smacking Miku upside the head. "BITCH PUH-LEEZ." with that, she marched up the stairs and of course, Gumi and Gakupo were having a hell of a time with the weed. Eye twitching, the vocaloid swiftly threw a throwing knife at the two, ironically hitting the pile of weed and missing both of them. The score points on the top right of Meiko's vision doubled due to that sick irony.

"At least my two little angels are normal!~" she exclaimed, kicking open Rin and Len's bedroom door. The twins were watching a movie by the looks of it, "I knew they'd be fine!" she sighed, relieved that they were being good. 'Time to go check on Dumb-shit.' The vocaloid closed the door hastily just before hauling ass down the hall way, towards Kaito's room, "Where the hell?" she pondered, seeing the room was empty. "KAITOOOOOOO!" Meiko bellowed, shaking her fist up at the ceiling, "Guess I'll find him later…But where could that reject of a man be?"

Author's Note

Nehe. And I finally introduce Meiko. Hmm, jeesh, where's Kaito I wonder? Sorry about all the profanities in this chapter by the way ;) I'll most likely only write a few more chapters, and it will be over. D: I have a good way to end it, I suppose, and I also have a new vocaloid fanfic (a serious one) in mind! :D Hehe, I hope you enjoyed reading, and the new chapter will be out next Sunday! :D And maybe perhaps a few more chapters for my other fanfictions, and MAYBE just MAYBE that new Vocaloid fanfic. Spoiler: It will mainly focus around the Kagamine Twins. WELLP! Have a fabulous day/night! ;D


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